5 Signs You’re Experiencing Religious Trauma After Leaving Mormonism

(Especially for Women in Arizona Who Are Starting to Unravel What Happened)

Leaving the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) isn’t just about no longer believing. It’s about untangling a whole system of identity, expectations, and fear that shaped your sense of self from the ground up.

For a lot of women I work with, stepping away from Mormonism brings a wave of unexpected emotions: grief, confusion, anxiety, sometimes even physical symptoms. If that’s been your experience, you're not overreacting. You're not being dramatic. You might be experiencing religious trauma.

As a religious trauma therapist in Arizona, I sit with women every day who are figuring out who they are now that they’ve stepped outside the fold. If you’re wondering whether your experience is more than just “church hurt,” here are five signs it might actually be trauma.

1. You Feel Guilt or Shame for Setting Boundaries

After leaving the Church, it can feel strangely wrong to say no to Sunday dinners, family prayers, or emotional conversations you just don’t want to have. Even if you’ve left mentally or spiritually, your body might still panic when you try to hold a boundary.

That’s not just guilt. That’s conditioning.

In Mormonism (and other high-control religious systems), boundaries were often framed as selfish. You were praised for being accommodating, obedient, and self-sacrificing. So of course, it feels uncomfortable to say “no” or to prioritize your own needs now.

Therapy can help you build boundaries that are rooted in self-respect, not fear or guilt. And yes, therapy for ex-Mormon women in Arizona is a real thing, and you’re allowed to want that kind of support.

2. You Struggle to Trust Yourself

When you’ve been told your whole life to follow church leadership, listen to the Spirit, and be wary of “worldly” influences, it makes sense that you might second-guess your own thoughts and desires.

You may catch yourself wondering:

• Is this okay?

• Am I being tricked?

• What if I mess this up?

Religious trauma often disconnects us from our inner knowing. Especially as women taught to defer to priesthood authority, many of us never had the chance to fully develop self-trust.

This work is slow, but it’s possible. Therapy gives you space to get curious about what you believe now, without shame or fear.

3. You’re Grieving a Life You Were Taught to Want

Grief after leaving the Church is real and often invisible to those still inside it.

You might be mourning:

• The temple marriage you were supposed to have

• The vision of motherhood you grew up with

• The “eternal family” idea that once grounded you

• A version of your future that felt safe (even if it never fit)

Even if you chose to leave, you’re still allowed to grieve what you lost—or what never was. And in therapy, we can hold space for all of it.

4. You Feel Disconnected From Your Body or Sexuality

If you grew up in Mormonism, you probably got some very clear messages about your body: Cover it. Control it. Don’t trust it. Don’t talk about sex. And definitely don’t want it.

So if you now find yourself feeling shut down, ashamed, or unsure about what you even like, that makes complete sense.

You might be:

• Avoiding intimacy or feeling numb during sex

• Struggling with shame around self-pleasure

• Noticing discomfort around desire or attraction (especially if you’re queer)

• Feeling like your body isn’t really yours

This is deeply personal work.

I offer therapy that is sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, and kink- and poly-friendly because healing your relationship with your body shouldn’t come with judgment or more rules.

5. You Worry That You’re a “Bad Person” Now

This one comes up all the time.

You might feel fine one moment, and then suddenly:

• What if I’m wrong?

• Am I letting down my family?

• Did I just ruin my shot at eternal happiness?

Even if you’ve let go of the theology in your head, your nervous system may still be carrying the fear. That’s trauma, not failure.

If your default mode is self-doubt, people-pleasing, or shame, you’re not a bad person; you’re someone who learned to survive in a system that made goodness conditional.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Healing.

Religious trauma doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like being exhausted all the time. Like not knowing what you want. Like feeling guilty for resting or saying no.

You’re not too far gone. You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

If you’re a woman in Arizona navigating the messy, sacred work of leaving Mormonism and healing religious trauma, I’m here to help.
This work can be painful—but it can also be beautiful.
You get to unravel. You get to rebuild.
And you don’t have to carry the shame with you.

Want to talk more? Reach out here for a free consultation and see if therapy might be the right next step.